It has come to the attention, of Life: The Guidebook (blog version), and our editors, through multiple sources, that there has been some confusion as to who (whom?) Karl was referring to as the subject of a blind date in his previous post. It was NOT, we repeat, NOT someone by the name of Mallory Everton. Although, Miss Everton is a frequent topic of discussion here on Life: The Guidebook, she was not the subject of the afore mentioned blog post. Karl (as far as we know) did actually go on a date with a real person (not a local celebrity, celebrity look-alike, or figment of his imagination).
To Miss Everton and her fan base, we issue a formal apology and will gladly compensate her for any damages to her name and brand, which may have been incurred during the confusion.
Hopefully, most of our readers (which we now know are more than just Karl’s mother, because more than one of you approached us about this issue) recognize the absurdity of the suggestion that Karl actually went out with Miss Everton and did not instantly drop dead of a heart attack. Let’s be honest, it’s never going to happen.
Side Note-Karl has asked us to include this summary of what the date would probably look like if it did happen:
First, dinner somewhere fancy…but not so fancy that you can’t order a glass of chocolate milk…and blow bubbles in it…like maybe Denny’s. Then an activity that will blow your mind! We’re talking like maybe renting out Classic Skating and having them bust out the ramp so we can attempt some sweet tricks (another side note: I once had a friend who told me he hit his head on the ceiling at Classic going off this ramp while doing a trick called a 360 genie, which is supposedly a trick where you cross your legs Indian-style in mid-air while rotating 360 degrees. Yeah, I don’t believe him either). Get excited for snowball too, because it’s just going to be us two, so guess who (whom?) I’m choosing?
Either that or we just find something good to watch on TV.