Wednesday, June 4, 2014

The Truth About Nice Guys

So I just read this article that I saw on Facebook. I have no idea where it came from or who even posted it. But, as a self-proclaimed ‘nice-guy,’ I was intrigued by the title. So I read it. And, well, it inspired me to write this blog. Here’s the link if you want to read it. An Open Letter To The Girl Who Let The Nice Guy Go

If you don’t want to read it let me summarize for you: Nice guys finish last and girls are missing out on all of these nice guys to date jerks and they’re really going to regret it later in life and blah blah blah, etc. We’ve all heard it before, right?

And reading this, my initial reaction was to pat myself on the back for being such a ‘nice guy’ and nod in agreement as I think about all of the girls that have passed on me and how much they are all gonna regret it so, so bad!!! 

The problem is that this just isn’t true. I’m sorry to disappoint all of the ‘nice guys’ out there, but it’s not. And this ‘Open Letter to the Girl Who Let the Nice Guy Go’ is fun to read when you’re are a single dude, like myself, who struggles to get the girl he wants (or sometimes even talk to her), and wants to pass the blame off on something or someone else. But it’s not true, and it’s just an attempt to make girls feel guilty about something they shouldn’t feel guilty for at all.

I think the truth is, fellow ‘nice guys,’ sometimes girls just aren’t interested in us, and most of the time it has nothing to do with our level of niceness. Sometimes we just aren’t what they are looking for. And if the only quality you’re bringing to the table is being a nice person, I can’t really blame the girl for losing interest (or never having any to begin with). 

Before I get too much further into this, let me just admit, that although I am putting myself into the ‘nice guy’ category, I am fully aware that there are plenty of girls (well, at least a handful) that would probably tell you that I’m actually a massive jerk. And some of them might be right. But most of them probably think I’m a jerk simply because I wasn’t interested in them. Not because of any actual jerky behaviors. And I think this is the problem with the whole ‘nice guys finish last’ argument. Sometimes, for whatever reason, people just aren’t interested in each other. And guess what? It’s their right to decide that, not yours. 

So rather than sitting/laying around complaining about all of those who have exercised their right to not be interested in us…and eating junk food…and listening to love songs or whatever, I suggest we get up and work on becoming the person that has more to offer than niceness.

Yeah, yeah, I know. I’m one to talk. I recognize that I have the relationship skills of, like, a 14-year-old boy. And, actually, (because it is my tradition here on this blog to share only the absolute most embarrassing parts of my life with you), as I’m sitting here writing this, I’m also listening to a recently created iTunes playlist which I’ve entitled ‘Pure Angst.’ It contains 75 of the greatest, most angsty songs of all time, sure to make you feel all kinds of emotions, ranging from ultimate hope to crushing despair! …….Ok, yeah, I am more like a 14-year-old girl actually, aren’t I?

Regardless, I feel like other than niceness, there are a few qualities that women are looking for. Like confidence, sensitivity, a good sense of humor, physical attractiveness, intelligence, righteousness, cleanliness, ambition, and last (but certainly not least) the ability to financially support them. And those are just the ones I can think of right now.

(Suggestion: Mentally prepare yourselves for the next paragraph…it’s super cheesy)

I fully intend to date and marry the girl of my dreams someday. I think we all do. But I realize to make that happen, I’m probably going to have to be the man of hers. I know I’m not there yet, but I’m working on it…

Oh, and to the girl of my dreams, whoever you are, when I finally get there you better come find me ASAP, because I’m going to be beating the ladies off with a stick!!! Or maybe some type of softer object…like a soft Nerf bat or something, because I don’t want any of the ladies getting injured…I’m just too nice I guess.

In conclusion: I think what we need right now to sum this all up is a gem from the ‘Pure Angst’ playlist. Try not to cry. And since I don’t know how to post just an audio file, you get a photo montage of the band Coldplay as well as the sing-a-long lyrics. You’re welcome.

        And I feel like a 14-year-old girl again…so yeah. Um…SPORTS!!! GUNS!!! OTHER MANLY STUFF!!! I DON’T HAVE OR NEED EMOTIONS!!! Ok I feel better.


  1. the truth about Karl:

    i think it's cool that you think you are a nice guy. "self-proclaimed" is how you put it. however, i disagree. i think you can be rather insensitive. i am not interested in you, nor you in me, and yet i still think you are a jerk. "Not because of any actual jerky behaviors...?" no, it's actually only due to your jerky behaviors that i think you are a jerk.

    let's get one more thing straight: you know exactly what you are doing when you do mean things. that's what bothers me the most. you knowingly do/say things that are not nice. and i think that disqualifies you from being a nice guy.

    1. Wow. I just read this comment. Wish I knew who you were and what specific insensitive, jerky and mean things I've done to you, or that you've observed me doing. Believe me, I'm the first to admit that I'm not perfect. Far from it. I make tons of mistakes. And I'm working on it. But, honestly, sincerely, I can't think of something I could've done, especially intentionally, to warrant your comment. (Unless your name is Otis Mower or Enoch Allred, who, I'm sorry to say, I bullied in elementary school. I fully expect one of them to murder me in my sleep at some point...and I'd probably deserve it. Otis, Enoch, if either of you ever read this, I'm sorry. Truly I am). So if I am doing, or have done something that is hurting you or someone you know, please let me know specifically what and to whom so I can change. I promise if I knew I was causing damage with whatever I'm doing, I would stop. Unfortunately, one anonymous (and vague) comment on a blog I posted a few weeks ago will probably not help much, because it doesn't really give me much to go off. There are a few people I tease pretty ruthlessly, but if you're one of them you are either in my family, or someone I consider a close friend. Someone close enough to hopefully know that I'm teasing, and not intending to be malicious, and that I love them. So I'm a bit stumped. Please feel free to contact me directly on Facebook, or thorough email: Or even just give me a call or text sometime. Here's my number: 8014005281 I hope I hear back.

    2. Also, if I am truly a jerk, I feel like I should be getting way more chicks...