Why should you read this blog?

Hello everyone (yes I'm assuming that someone will actually read this [thanks mom!])!  I'm writing this to let you know why you should read this blog. As you may have noticed, this blog is titled 'Life: The Guidebook.'  One day, you'll come to a point in your life, as I have, where living life just isn't enough anymore. Maybe you've accomplished so much that even accomplishing one more accomplishment would cause a rift in the space time continuum.  Maybe you've had so much success that if you had anymore of it there would be no more success left in the world to be had by anyone. Or maybe, just maybe, you wake up one day and realize you've been put here on this earth to fulfill some higher calling. Well, people (yes, I realize it's still just you reading this mom), when you reach this point, there's nothing left to do but give back. That, my friends, is the purpose of this blog.  Simply put, it's a forum for me, an expert life-liver, to impart my knowledge to the masses.
You might be asking yourself right now, 'Why should I trust this guy? How can I be sure his advice is sound? Is he truly an expert on life?'  Let me put these fears at ease by offering an abbreviated list of some of my accomplishments so far, and then you can decide for yourself.

-Was born
I consider this my first and still one of my greatest accomplishments. If you ask any infant, the overwhelming majority will tell you what a difficult and terrifying experience this is. Plus, unless you were grown in a lab by scientists or something (Clones! I know you're out there), I have something in common with each and every one of you and can, therefore, empathize with you on some level.

-Nurtured and cared for several pets
These include many, many fish (just can't seem to keep them alive), a few small toads, two newts, and a lizard.  I also caught a spider once with my friend Ben, who also died (the spider died, not Ben). We assumed that since spiders bite people, they must eat skin.  Our only source of skin was off of our own bodies, which we painstakingly harvested with pins from my mom's sewing kit. (Side note: spiders do not eat skin). Also, my neighbors asked my to feed their dog one time while they were on vacation. I forgot to do it a couple of the days, but I gave it a couple extra scoops of food on the last day so I think it all evened out in the end.

-Watched all of the seasons of 'Lost'

-Student at Brigham Young University since 2001
I'm technically a Senior now.

-Written for such prestigious publications as 'The Thunderbolt' and 'The Mormon Times'

-Currently dating a celebrity
Actually several celebrities. It's amazing how close you can feel to someone by following them on Twitter.

-Worked as a part-time manager for a local Mexican restaurant

Need I continue? The list goes on and on! And keep in mind, I'm only 27 years old!

This blog will explore all aspects of life starting with the basics: food, shelter, and how to ward off spirits/protect against alien invasion.  I'll impart my dating and relationship wisdom (it takes a lot of work to stay single living in Utah County). I'm not afraid to tackle the tough questions like 'Why should I do laundry every week when my clothes are just going to get dirty again? and 'If all babies are pretty, why are there so many ugly people in the world?'

No, you don't have to read this blog, but I wouldn't attempt to live life without it.